Photo by Yassir Ketchum
Black Women and Femmes Deserve Peace
DR. MVP
After my diagnosis, I seriously considered pursuing a PhD in clinical psychology. A good friend, who was also a fellow cancer survivor in the final year of her own PhD, gave me a stark warning: "You will be unhappy. You won’t have time to dance, perform, make your art, and it can be very draining and break your heart." Her words hit hard, but they were true. I was on the verge of submitting materials to a fully funded PhD program but kept running into roadblocks, almost as if the universe was sending me a message.
I actually graduated from Sarah Lawrence with a Masters in Early Childhood Education over ten years ago and was excited about the idea of combining my knowledge of burlesque and dance as healing tools to help others overcome depression and anxiety. I still think about what it would be like to be called Dr. MVP. But at this point, I’d be a doctor more like Dr. Dre or Dr. Pepper—no lab coat needed.
IF YOU FIND ME HAPPY LEAVE ME THAT WAY!
I’m learning the fine art of finding peace within myself, and I’m realizing how essential it is to create spaces where peace can thrive. It’s so easy to walk through the world with a chip on your shoulder—there are countless reasons to feel anger and frustration. But when I look at Black women, it’s clear that we bear the brunt of these pressures. We’re disproportionately diagnosed with high blood pressure, breast cancer, anxiety, and depression. These aren’t just health statistics; they’re symptoms of the burdens we carry.
When you see us happy, add to it—or leave us alone. Our joy is an act of resistance, and protecting it is essential.
Personally, I’ve found that I need alone time to restore myself. My self-healing formula includes meditation. A few years ago, I took a Transcendental Meditation course, which offered a sliding scale. I was on Medicaid at the time, and it only cost me $30! Meditation has since become a cornerstone of my practice of peace, helping me to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with my inner strength.
Self-care is not a luxury; it’s survival. Black women and femmes deserve every moment of it.
My self-healing formula includes not only rest and solitude but also protecting my energy from those who drain it. Energy vampires and chronically negative people are all around us, and they can deplete our emotional reserves if we’re not careful. Setting boundaries is critical for preserving our peace.
MY SELF HEALING FORMULA
Time Away from People (Phone Off/Social Media Breaks)
Disconnecting from the world has been essential for my peace of mind. Turning off my phone and stepping away from social media allows me to recharge without the noise and expectations of others.Playing Chess
Chess has become an unexpected remedy for my anxiety. It challenges my mind, gives me a break from the chaos, and helps me focus on strategy instead of stress. Chess.com is the best. They even have chess lessons!Meditation
I’ve been meditating practically every day for at least 10 years. A few years ago, I learned Transcendental Meditation, and it’s been a game changer. Taking the time to meditate daily helps me stay grounded and calm no matter what’s happening around me.Working Out
Whether I’m going for a run or lifting weights, moving my body releases tension and boosts my mood. Exercise gives me a sense of accomplishment and helps me feel strong, both physically and mentally.Fresh Air
Going to the park, being around trees, and observing animals all remind me to slow down and reconnect with nature. There’s something about the simplicity of fresh air that brings peace.Dancing, Writing, Drawing
Creating for the sake of creating—whether I share it or not—helps me express my emotions in a healthy way. Art in any form is a way to release what’s inside, and it’s deeply healing.Laughter and Time with Loved Ones
Spending time with positive people, my pets, or even watching a funny movie brings me joy. Laughter really is medicine, and surrounding myself with love keeps me balanced.Balance is Key
I remind myself to watch the news but not too much. Staying informed is important, but so is stepping back when it gets overwhelming.
All of these things remind me to enjoy life and make me more resilient to handle the hurdles the world throws at me. Balance is everything.