I haven't written in this blog for a while. Partially because I've been incredibly busy, and partly because there was a part of me that just wanted to move on. But now I’m realizing that "moving on" in the sense I had in mind isn’t possible. I will never be the same again.
In many ways, I was blind or oblivious to certain facts about life, truths that I’m only now beginning to understand. It’s these realizations that come to mind when I start to feel alone—whether as a Black woman, an artist, or a cancer survivor.
I’d like to think that I was always a person who felt deeply for others, even those facing situations I hadn't personally experienced. But now, I see how those experiences have fundamentally changed me. The empathy I once offered others now feels like a reflection of my own journey, one that’s shaped by my unique struggles and growth.
I want to keep exploring these changes, not just to understand them, but to connect more deeply with myself and others. This blog was always a space for that exploration, and maybe it’s time to bring that part of me back to life.
This year has been nothing short of amazing. Professionally, it feels like everything I thought I had lost during my forced hiatus has come back to me tenfold. My new residency at The Burlesque Show at The Borgata has been a fantastic opportunity, and I’m back at two of NYC's top venues: Duane Park and Bathtub Gin. I even debuted a brand-new act at Fire and Fury's show at City Winery. It’s been a whirlwind of excitement and success.
Highlights of this year was landing a speaking role on a new FX TV show “Dying For Sex” about a woman who liberates herself after being diagnosed with cancer. This year I got a personal invite from Queen of Burlesque Dita Von Teese to see her fabulous show in Vegas and meet her afterwards! It feels like a full-circle moment, a testament to how far I’ve come.
Getting here wasn’t easy. I faced my own battles with body dysmorphia, the challenge of rebuilding my body, and feelings of isolation. During the recovery process, between two major surgeries—one to remove the cancer and prepare for implants, and the other to place the implants—I found a surprising sense of purpose and strength in posing full-time at The Art Students League. It was a job that allowed me to focus solely on my craft, without the need for conversation or carrying anything home. It was a perfect way to regain my strength while continuing to engage with my artistic side. Being painted and drawn with all my scars by so many talented artists was both liberating and affirming.
After my residency at The Borgata, I made a deliberate choice to send in my resignation from Art Students League. I was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and needed time to be with my family, create work for myself, and simply exist. I vowed never to let myself be too overbooked to live fully. It’s a balancing act—living beyond mere survival, especially with the practicalities of rent and groceries—but it’s crucial to me.
One of the most significant lessons this year has taught me is the importance of using my time wisely because you don’t get it back. I’m working on navigating my “toxic positivity,” or as I like to call it, “don’t nobody bring me bad news,” by setting boundaries with those who try to offload their burdens onto me. Balance is key. I’ve resolved never to let others' heaviness overshadow my own well-being and to recognize that my feelings are just as important as anyone else’s. Support is a two-way street.
Even as I shine bright, I remind myself that it took a lot of hard work to get here. Not being relatable is something I struggle with, but I’m learning to stay grounded and discerning. I still have faith and trust, but I’m more careful about where I place them.
And, oh yes—I'm also back to producing again. “The Vipers Drag” My birthday week October 11th at 11pm at Duane Park.
My first big show since before cancer. I am also taking over Dr Sketchy’s NYC with Molly Crabapple’s blessing.
It feels like a new beginning, and I’m ready to embrace it all with open arms.